Here’s a shoot I did recently. The second model (Marielle – first shot below), was very much a surprise for me, because I was only supposed to shoot with Stefania. Marielle was doing the makeup and wanted to be part of the shoot, so I went with it. The concept went from the simple “girl under the sheets” shot to a sort of slumber party turned weird. We moved in a lot of random directions with this one, so it’s not at all a cohesive whole, but it was a ton of fun anyway.
“I dreamed a dream, but now that dream has gone from me…”
I used to dream, over and over again, of a beautiful blonde. I could never quite see her face, but her stunning beauty was self-evident. Everyone was entranced by her. Everyone wanted to be with her.
I wanted to be with her.
And yet, all I would do in every dream and every situation (the dreams were never the same – only the girl), was wish that she would choose me.
But in every dream, despite all the choices at her fingertips, she would choose me. And she would always hug me… The indescribable feeling of peace as I held her in my arms was such that, being young and naive when I first started dreaming this at the age of 18, I even based some life-changing decisions on the dream.
Seems incredibly stupid in retrospect, but I like who I am now and I like where my life is going. I couldn’t have become who I am without all the decisions I’ve made in my life, good and bad, smart and stupid.
I used to believe I was looking for a soulmate. Some have agreed that it was exactly that. Others have suggested a guardian angel.
I think they were just dreams.
So after all these years, equipped with some Vaseline that I smeared on my lens filter, a model lined up (the gorgeous Reesa Marie), an incredible hair stylist and a location in mind, I set out to capture the dream girl in an image. Not knowing what she looks like however, I intentionally made her difficult to see or just plain unrecognizable.
It took me 12 years from the initial dream, but at last, the whole thing is outside of my imagination now.
“I dreamed a dream, but now that dream has gone from me…”
Here are some random shots from the rest of the shoot, where Reesa is at least somewhat more recognizable 
I’m headed off to beautiful New York City on Sunday and will return that Friday (woohooo!!), so it’ll be quiet here again during that week.
Vegas Lights
Since I’ve come to the United States, every single time I’ve been to Vegas has been a bad experience. Even at its very best, it was a mixed experience, with equal parts happiness and suffering. At its worst…
Well I’d rather not talk about those times in my life…
Las Vegas is a strange place.
Although the strip can’t speak for all of Las Vegas, it’s certainly the part of Vegas tourists think of most when trying to picture the city. And I’ve always wanted to put into words what I feel about that part of it.
Here it is:
Las Vegas wants to strip away whatever dignity you have by the time you leave.
The absolute visual and sonic chaos, flashing lights everywhere begging for attention, every type of smut you can imagine at ever corner, slot machines taking whatever money you came in with, casinos clearly designed to keep you from figuring out where the exit is, fake statues and the occasional classical music trying to pose as class, bar after bar after bar…
Like a black hole in outer space, even the speed of light can’t escape its pull.
Coming home today, I was in the airport and at the gate, I sat across from a young woman who had just turned 21. I’ve never seen anyone sleep like that.
She looked up, our eyes met and she was immediately embarrassed. I didn’t think there had been anything to be embarrassed about, but she obviously felt there was. The poor girl looked ill, disheveled, hung over, shivering at the airport and inside the plane, and as she told me later, she was only wearing the dress she was because she had nothing else left to wear, hated the city and was desperate to get home. As I sat next to her in the plane, she revealed that she’d fought with loved ones and everything that could have gone wrong for her, did.
I had never enjoyed my visits to Vegas either.
Until yesterday.
Because yesterday, I was there for what turned out to be a gorgeous wedding, surrounded by fantastic people, just across from Lake Las Vegas. As I went back to my hotel room, I had to spend a few minutes on the balcony.
Crickets chirping, the faint sound of laughter.
After about half a dozen visits, I had finally, finally experienced Las Vegas in a truly positive light.
Seeing that girl was a bit like looking into my past, minus the drinking. I’d had a terrible time, relationships had changed, I was far poorer than when I’d gone in with nothing to show for it and I couldn’t wait to go home.
At least now, I can’t wait to go back.
