I’ve been getting threats to stop teasing and just post the film already. Yikes!
But before you hit the play button below, please… PLEASE read the following…
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT watch this thing on a laptop with no speakers attached!!!
I worked relentlessly to perfect the soundtrack to the film and it would destroy me to find out that anyone would accept watching this on a system that barely lets you hear anything. You have to experience the rich sound of the violins and the bone-shaking power of the bass. You just do. So yes, turn the volume up!
Another note. The video link you’re about to watch can be seen in HD, so if your internet connection is fast enough, please watch it that way (click on the HD icon, then click on the link to Vimeo’s site to watch it in HD there).
Ok…
Ready?…
Go!!!!
Every Day the Same from Raji Barbir on Vimeo.
And here’s the music all on its own if you want to come back and enjoy it by itself:
Part 1:
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Part 2:
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A little background to the film.
I came up with the idea for the film about a year and a half ago, with the hugely talented Sasha Zoumadakis in mind. I imagined a woman, leaning against the window of a train, hardly looking out, peacefully happy to go home.
But as I suddenly found myself in a position to actually shoot the film, I felt the need to flesh it out beyond just filming a woman going home. And before I knew it, it turned into a film about the crushing and seemingly meaningless repetition of life.
I know… Not exactly the happiest concept…
But for me, “Every Day the Same” now stands almost as a reflection on my personal experience in times like these and hopefully something you, my dear audience, can relate to:
No longer seeing the point, but with no other options, continuing with life in autopilot.
I hope you enjoy it.
Remember? Last year in February, I talked about a film called NURF Wars that I was about to shoot.
For those who don’t wanna bother going back and reading, NURF Wars was an idea that originated from trying to figure out how I could have actors running around with guns in the middle of downtown without getting shot at by the cops. NERF guns were the solution. And I misspelled the title because… Well because I can. It was a combination of NERF Wars and Turf Wars, but there’s not really anything in the film to help you understand that… So I don’t know…
Anyway, so I did shoot it, but then my camera got stolen in March and I got really busy in the summer with weddings. The whole project got put on a perpetual backburner and I couldn’t touch it until I could find some time again.
I found some time again.
Now, although the film has a way to go (a ton of special effects, animated title sequences, sound design, music and all the DVD authoring stuff), here’s my favorite frames coupled with some commentary without giving away any of the story twists.
Walking against the flow.
The beautiful and talented Dani Jae. She apparently lives in a place with unbelievably dramatic lighting.
He didn’t have a clear shot.
One of the prettiest scenes in the movie. But see, if I’d had my new camera, I’d have thrown that distracting background out of focus.
Bad guys looks awesome!
A link to Every Day the Same will be coming soon. Probably next week but I’m not sure. Are you salivating yet? Yes, I’m a giant tease.
I don’t know why I didn’t think of this myself… But a fellow filmmaker, Eric Escobar from PrepShootPost, suggested to post some screenshots of Every Day the Same, so here are some of my favorites along with some commentary.
The camera’s video mode doesn’t have any kind of auto-focus to help you, but sometimes, missing focus makes the shot look gorgeous. This was one of those shots.
I love this shot because we were asked to stop filming by one of the Starbucks employees just moments before. Nobody had a clue that I kept shooting anyway! hahaha
I love this angle. There’s a strange but beautiful voyeuristic quality about it.
I’ve never seen anyone so sad about having to go to work! Sasha is a brilliant actress, I was lucky to have been able to work with her.
Ok, THIS is what I mean about the camera’s video capabilities. This was 100% IMPOSSIBLE on my old camera. Remember the one? It was stolen last year. Good! Blessing in disguise! But just look at this shot! Only her right eye is in focus. Even her LIPS are in soft focus!
Just because I wanted to have a shot somewhere that had ridiculously shallow depth of field.
Ahhhh going home and lookin’ fabulous!
This was THE image that captivated me almost two years ago when I came up with the concept for the film. It’s good to finally see it on screen and alive.
Another place we weren’t supposed to shoot. Kohl’s. Sasha and I laid out exactly what we needed to do before going in and were fully expecting to get kicked out. We didn’t, but we were in and out within about 40 seconds. By the time anyone had a clue, we were already outside and saying goodbye. Another huge advantage to the camera. It’s small enough a video camera not to attract any attention to itself. My old one was big enough to have gotten us kicked out before hitting record.
Another “I wanna show off how cool shallow depth of field in a movie looks” shot. Although with this shot I did also want to emphasize the moment she really gets home. Like “It’s official! The keys are up, world! Leave me alone!”
Pretty. She had a real conversation with a friend.
Sasha once again flexing her acting muscles. Seriously. Not having any other actors to feed off of throughout an entire project is very, VERY difficult to do convincingly.
Posted something similar a while back on my Facebook account. I just love the way the windows’ light flared in the camera.
It’s midnight, I just came home from the premiere showing for the premiere showing for Every Day the Same and it was an absolute JOY!! A huge thanks to all who came, it was a blast hanging out again 
I’ll be posting the movie online soon…ish…
Finally found the time tonight to update the look of this blog. Hope you likey
I don’t think I even mentioned this on the blog… I have no idea why.
A little while ago, in what I still think was an unbelievable stroke of good luck, I received a notification that my new camera had been shipped.
It was on back-order.
Everywhere.
Anyone I asked would tell me that even though I pre-ordered the thing in October, it’d be anywhere from two to three months from January before I could hope for it to head my way. But on January 18th, it came to my door.
The next day, I got my new lenses.
And the day after that, I shot a movie with it.
The ability to switch from great still photography to High Definition footage within the same camera and with just the click of a button is an unbelievable experience. Sure you get used to it, but it still rules. The funny thing is that I used to scoff at the idea of bringing video to a photo camera. “Psh, just make me a good photo camera would ya please?!”
Well, it turns out that photo cameras shoot really, truly gorgeous video. I discovered this a year and a half ago when the Canon 5D MkII came out and everybody’s heads exploded at the sight of the footage. Mine included. But I couldn’t justify stepping down to the 5D just to get video. Then the 7D came out. Even cheaper than the 5D and also equipped with beautiful video. But it was a step down from the 5D, so forget it. Both cameras would mean spending money that I’d later regret.
So, I patiently waited for my 1D MkIV to come out.
It finally did.
And now… The movie’s done!! Here’s a couple of images to whet your appetite
The poster:
The image that will go straight on the disc:
If you’d like to come see the film, I’d love to have you! Just leave a comment or email me directly!
It was exactly ten years ago this year that, at the time completely oblivious to the titanic ramifications, I was about to make the biggest, most profound decision of my life.
Salt Lake City… Or San Francisco…
My best friend chose San Francisco.
And I chose Salt Lake City.
At the time, I honestly felt like it was the place I needed to be.
But what followed were the ten bumpiest years of my life. Had I known this, I would gladly have volunteered to help NASA land a manned spacecraft on Venus, upside down, without any radio communications or even a spacesuit, while juggling seven rabid dogs and a moose with one hand tied behind my back, giving birth to a hedgehog and fighting off Darth Vader with a toothpick.
Really. It’s been a rough ride. Slight exaggeration obviously. I mean who wants to volunteer for NASA?
But I am who I am. And I like who I am.
So I don’t regret having gone through what I did, nor do I regret where I am now. I don’t regret anything or anyone in my life. Without my experiences, without the people I know, good and bad, I’m not me. And as I just said, I like me.
But…
I’ve always wondered where my life would be if I’d gone to San Francisco instead of coming to Utah.
Always.
And if you’ve been reading my blog lately, you’d know that I have vouchers to fly United Airlines.
Three of them.
Now, I already know two cities in this world that I’m madly in love with: Paris and New York City. I have a feeling San Francisco might be joining that very short list.
And the reason THAT’S significant is this:
I’m seriously considering and researching a move to one of those three cities.
Whoa… That sentence is gonna get me a LOT of phone calls!
So although I can’t address everything and everyone with this post, lemme at least say this.
I’m really not sure at this point. It may never even happen. There are so many factors for me to consider, but two of them stand out above the rest; I have two boys here and a growing business that I’d have to practically build from scratch anywhere else.
So yes, this is a huge decision that I’m not taking lightly at all.
But there’s no question that I’m really flirting with all three options.
Well ok. Not Paris. I’d love to live there, but only as a bazillionaire or if I can expand my studio that far. So not very likely either way. At least not right now. Unbelievable city, can’t wait to go back, but hang in there Paris, I’m not getting to you just yet. Maybe someday.
So that leaves me with two options:
San Francisco or New York City. Vastly different cities.
I’ve been to New York a couple of times already. Loved it both times. No. ADORED it. I’m gonna go there again this year before the wedding season hits. Oh and New York makes a lot of career sense too. That’s a big bonus.
But I’ve never been to San Francisco. And so, after ten years of wondering, in the very near future I’ll be going there to begin finding out if moving there might be a good idea.
I’m not expecting my tourist experience to tell me everything I need to know about actually living in the city, but I’m hoping it’ll give me a feel for whether the place suits me.
Soon after that, I’ll be going to New York for my third time to do the same.
And then, after as much research and thought as I can muster for both cities, I’m going to have to ask myself the biggest question of all.
Why move anywhere in the first place?
That’s the one that’s got me stumped right now. Because I like it here. I have a house here with tons of space. I have friends here. Great neighbors. Both my kids are here. My business is doing great.
So why move at all?
I don’t know…
But I do know this:
I don’t want to continue wondering why not.
I’ve been excited to show you these for some time and now, I finally get to!
The images below are photographs taken with a Holga camera.
The Holga is a film camera. Medium format, which is larger than the 35mm film cameras most people remember. And it’s also listed under “toy camera” anywhere you look to buy it.
Why?
Because it sucks, that’s why. You laugh, but it’s true.
It sucks.
A lot.
It’s manufactured in China with exactly zero quality control, so if you and a friend each bought your own, you’d still end up with two completely different cameras, it’s made entirely of plastic (yes, even the lens) and it’s incredibly primitive in the control it offers.
Oh and don’t lick it either, there’s the slight possibility you might get lead poisoning. Remember; it was made in China! On the other hand, what the hell are you doing licking cameras?!
Anyway, but that’s also why boatloads of photographers love it so much. It’s primitive and unpredictable.
I can’t speak for other photographers, but my experience with the Holga has been liberating. That’s what I love about mine. The freedom. I go into any new shoot with two things on my mind.
1. Film is expensive and I only have 12 shots per roll. I better get this right.
2. This camera sucks. It doesn’t matter what I do, it’ll come out interesting. Still though… Get it right…
Whenever I get started on a shoot with my current digital camera, I have about 1,200 images worth of space. With a Holga, I have almost exactly ONE HUNDRED TIMES fewer shots at my disposal.
So I friggin’ pay attention.
So yes, it focuses me like digital cameras can’t. To me, that is liberating, because instead of focusing my energy on telling similar images apart, I get to pay closer attention to what I want to do NOW, with the camera in hand. But there’s the added bonus of not knowing what you’re gonna get, especially with a Holga, until you get your roll back from the lab.
Here’s why.
With professional cameras, your view is bounced around through a series of mirrors so you can see exactly what your lens is seeing. You see how far you’re zoomed in or out, what your focus looks like, there’s even an indicator to tell you what your exposure is gonna look like before you take the shot.
With a Holga, forget about mirrors; you look through a hole. You don’t have a clue what your lens is seeing. You have to literally guess what your focus is gonna be like based on some stupidly vague icons at the front of the lens. And you have two aperture settings. Sunny and cloudy.
And that’s it. Go take a picture.
And when you do go take a roll full of pictures and get them developed, you find that your Holga did a number of things you didn’t know it was doing. It leaked light onto the film in this frame but not on that one because the construction of the casing sucks so much, it missed focus because you can’t tell exactly where your focus is anyway and even where focus magically falls in your lap, the camera’s construction may be such that the bottom right corner of your images are out of focus regardless. I say “may be” because remember, no two Holgas are alike. I just know it does that on mine, with some frames where the issue is more pronounced than others. Oh and of course the thing Holgas are most famous for: vignetting. The corners of your images are darkened, not by choice like we do now digitally, but because that’s how your Holga came out of the factory.
The sheer unpredictability of the thing makes the results all the more exhilarating.
So I hope you enjoy my little collection so far. These have been shot between around November when I got it and during my trip to Europe, which by the way means that I had three cameras to juggle; the iPhone, the Canon and the Holga. And I had a 4-year-old. And it was cold. And the French have nukes.
What?! It’s more exciting when I put it like that!
Today, my picture-a-day-for-365-days project, comes to an end with the final picture. And this time, it’s more about the experience of the project than it is about the picture itself. So yes, that means more reading.
But I hope you enjoy my recollection of the project and its significance in my life and potentially, your life, should you choose to someday do the same.
Enjoy.
Day 364/365
And finally… *drumroll*…
Tadaaaaa!!! I’m finished!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So why did I leave this for last?
Because this image, that time… It’s 8 minutes to midnight and I can’t tell you how many times that happened to me throughout the year. It’s late, I’m tired, I feel like I’m forgetting something but hey I’ll get to it tomorrow, but still not being able to sleep I look at the clock to see how late it is and how long I’ve been trying to fall asleep and suddenly it hits me like a ton of bricks.
“CRAP!!! Forgot the picture of the day!!”
So I bounce out of bed and hunt for something, anything, to take a picture of.
And I think that image, crappy as it is, represents to me what the project was often like.
I mentioned this a while ago, but a 365 project leaves you at a loss for ideas in a big friggin’ hurry. Especially when you’re a busy guy/gal. And I don’t know about other shooters who have undertaken this project, but I felt like I often forgot taking a shot until just before midnight.
But I learned a few things with this project.
First, as mentioned above, the stream of ideas dies very quickly. Like the saying goes, it’s 10% inspiration, 90% perspiration. And I wasn’t about to give up when my 10% ran out. I’m proud of that fact. I never gave up. It was never even an option. At the worst of times, it was a tedious task to take a picture, but giving up wasn’t gonna happen. Period.
Second, I noticed myself getting lazy on a bunch of my shots. I either didn’t have the time or on some occasions, simply didn’t have the inclination to try and take something I felt was good. I had good days, I had bad days. All of this became especially apparent once I got my iPhone. It became so easy to postpone taking a shot because I didn’t have a bulky camera to pickup. I could be done quickly.
Third, no question about it, I took an enormous amount of images that I would never have taken had I not been working on that project. Some were good enough to end up in my portfolio, but for the most part the project really forced me to observe the world that existed around me at that moment. You see the world around you every day, but it’s not until you raise a camera at it that you’re forced to really examine it. Understand it. Enjoy it. And as it becomes a habit, what happens is that even when your camera isn’t around, you see things as if you were looking through its viewfinder.
The camera transitions successfully into your subconscious.
That’s cool.
And finally; the memories.
At its most basic, a camera is simply a visual recording tool. It doesn’t lie. It doesn’t distort. It just says.
In the year that I started and ended this project, I went through two MAJOR, life-changing events and countless experiences in between.
Some were amazing, others were excruciating.
And I’ve heard it said about drawing on paper and I feel the same about photography; even when you’re not taking pictures of the event itself, the imagery you create becomes so strongly associated with those events that it’s essentially as good as having taken a picture of your emotions, your state of mind, your boredom, your anticipation, your happiness or your misery.
Those aren’t things you can take pictures of. Because they’re intangible from the camera’s perspective. But you capture them anyway. At least for yourself.
And yes, to me that’s invaluable. I cherish those images, whatever they’re connected to.
I have two shots that jump out at me when I think back at the whole year and as it so happens, they’re the two major, life-changing events. I couldn’t take a picture of either event, nor do I really want to divulge what they were.
But they’ve been forever seared in my mind.
A picture of my calendar: I was ecstatic. Relieved. I felt I could finally rest and live peacefully. The whole world melted away and everything in my future looked bright and filled with freedom.
A picture of my Honda framed by my garage door: I was hopelessly depressed. I remember sitting on the steps to my back door. No longer knowing what to do with myself. No longer seeing the point to it all.
I don’t regret either memory. They’re mine. No one can take them away from me. And despite them meaning nothing to all but my closest of friends and family and not even being all that great to look at, they’re incredibly powerful and meaningful to me. I can revisit my past with all of its ups and downs, just by looking at these two pictures.
I like that.
There are some photographers who still lament the advent of digital cameras, making it child’s play for anyone to take a picture.
Not me.
I cherish what we have. I love that I’m alive at this time in our history when all you need is a phone to record your lives and the lives of others with so much ease and frequency, and an outlet as simple, open and infinite as the internet.
So take many, many pictures my friends. Take as many as you can.
You’ll thank yourself for it later.
Day 355/365
The last moment of real happiness for my poor little Mason… And for myself for that matter.
This was shot at the Brussels airport. It was a playground with TVs, games, toys, cushion-y areas to jump on. Really fun.
But because of the snow, we were about to experience the worst trip of our lives. Well Mason is four, but it was by far the worst trip of MY life.
The plane in Brussels was an hour late. We got to London and we had to hurry so we could get on the next plane to Chicago. I first went down the wrong line for my connecting tickets. Then I went in the right line with less and less time to make my flight, but the line was strangely very empty…
I get to the front desk and talk to a rep there.
My flight to Chicago had been cancelled due to the weather… Oh no… NO!!!!… Now what?! They told me that I was on my own because it was a weather delay so United Airlines couldn’t book me into a hotel; I’d have to pay for it myself. Oh thanks. And there were absolutely no other airlines that could get me back to the states. Great. I was gonna have to call Travelocity to see if they could help. I paid extra to have their travel protection, they better pay up and help out!
Another guy came along at the United Airlines desk and said the best they could do was put me on standby on a flight to Washington, which would then connect to Denver and then finally back to Salt Lake. No guarantee that I could get on the first plane, let alone the other two, and the extra connection sucked, but it was something. They’d re-route my checked luggage too of course, which I would have to pickup in Washington and check back in (standard procedure when entering the country from abroad).
I hurry to the gate for the flight that’s headed for Washington, anticipating a full flight that wouldn’t have any room for Mason and me, but to my great surprise, we got in! We had two seats! Hallelujah!
There WAS one little problem though… The only reason we made it to that flight, besides blind luck with being on standby for seats, is that the plane was delayed pretty significantly… That’s gonna make it hard to make the connection from Washington to Denver, but I’m sure it’ll be fine. Besides, I’d be in the US and I’d have more options.
The flight was long. The sun stays up longer when you’re flying west and Mason wouldn’t close his eyes and get any sleep. That is, not until just before landing, by which time everyone, and I mean EVERYONE on the plane, was in panic, because the large majority of people on the plane knew they’d have to hurry up where they could and wait enormously long lines through security to get to their connecting flights.
I could hear several in nearby seats who had already given up hope on making their connecting flights.
Me on the other hand, I refused to give up hope. I’m gonna make it. I have more time than most. I’m gonna make it. I’m gonna be fine.
Everyone on the plane has a screen in the seat in front of them. You can watch movies, but many of us watched the map indicating our distance from Washington and our approximate landing time. We were finally within 4 minutes of our approximate landing time.
But then it stayed at 4 minutes for about 10 minutes… And we’re turning a lot…
Oh you’ve gotta be kidding me… We’re circling the airport NOW?!
Finally, we land. And Mason is fast asleep… But I have to wake him up. And I do. And nobody likes me now. And he’s inconsolable.
I rush out of the plane, hauling a stroller, my camera bag, a backpack-sized carry-on and Mason. We make it to the long line for security and now we wait. And wait. And wait. Catching our flight to Denver is really not looking good now. And we still have the long line after picking up our suitcase so we can check it back in and I’m not really sure how I’m gonna push a stroller, a carry-on, deal with Mason and pull a large suitcase to anywhere… I don’t have enough hands now…
Lucky for me, United managed to lose my suitcase for the second time, which means I spent a good 30 minutes looking for something that was never going to show up in the first place. Cool, so I ask someone where my suitcase is and they said to file a claim once I get to Salt Lake. And I’m looking at my time, and I’ve got about 7 minutes to cross an airport I’ve never been to with almost more luggage than I have hands to hold them and a child who’s really not in the mood anymore just so I can make it to a connecting flight to a place that’s still not home…
I ask one of the staff if I can make it. She says yes, I can make it.
Run.
So I book it. And I mean that, I’m running across the airport like a friggin’ maniac with the stroller in front of me and Mason, very unhappy, not enjoying the fastest ride I’ve ever given him on it.
I finally get to the gate, breathing very heavily. I look up at the status screen and it says the flight is leaving at the time it’s supposed to, at 5:25pm. I can’t believe it! I made it!
I walk up to the counter and ask about the flight.
It’s been delayed by four hours.
I’m not gonna make the connection in Denver to get home and there’s no other way to Salt Lake, Mason is still crying and screaming his head off and I gotta say, I don’t smoke, don’t have any interest in starting whatsoever, but I finally understood why people smoke.
“You mean after as many setbacks as I’ve been through all day today, after I ran like a psycho to make it here, it’s been delayed by FOUR HOURS?!… Excuse me for a second (pulls out a cigarette), I’m gonna go kill myself now. Slowly.”
We finally made it to Denver, at 11:30pm, by which time Mason had fallen asleep on the plane of course, which meant I had another 20 straight minutes of screaming child to deal with. We got to the hotel at about 12:30am, which United had decided they would book for me, since this time there was no excuse for the plane being 4 hours late, and were finally in bed by 1am.
Day 356/365
The view from our hotel in Denver the next morning. It wasn’t an early flight out, but jetlag had woken me up at about 4am and I caught some of that sunrise.
A few more screaming child episodes between the plane, the airport and the ride to my house, and on January 7th, we were finally home.
You know what’s funny? I hated United after that flight. Hated them. But I got $150 in credit for my next flight with them… And as 2 weeks went by and nobody could tell me where my suitcase had gone until one morning it finally appeared at my door, it meant I was lucky enough to spend hours talking to customer service, asking them where in the world my suitcase was; literally. Chicago? Denver? Salt Lake? London? Brussels? Zimbabwe? Where on this planet was my suitcase? So they gave me another $250 voucher and a $150 voucher.
I should have called more often. Maybe they’d have shipped me a box of cigarettes (see above).
And now, like an idiot, I’m wondering where I should go. San Francisco for a few days in the summer sounds great to me. Anyone have some awesome suggestions?
Day 357/365
Getting home was important because I had the Bridal Showcase at the Salt Palace to do starting on the 8th. I did have a backup plan, as I enrolled the help of the wonderful Heidi J Photography to setup in case I couldn’t make it due to delays.
Day 358/365
Junk food helps get you through a day at the bridal show when you have no time to shove any other food down your throat.
Day 359/365
Sunset on my way out of a movie.
Day 360/365
I’m coming to the stop sign of my 365 project!
Day 361/365
Went to Antelope Island with my good friend and fellow photographer, Heidi, and it was this horizon that took my breath away. I hadn’t planned to go out there, so I only had my iPhone unfortunately and I’d run out of shots from my Holga.
Day 362/365
If I can find you and I happen to be getting rid of old portfolio pieces, I like to give the print to you, free of charge. I’m just gonna chuck them anyway, why not make someone happy instead? Sarah and Dani.
Day 363/365
Pulled over on the way home as I rose above the fog down below.
Day 365/365
Posting this one first because I want to end this project on a little note regarding the image on day 364 and its meaning.
Engagement session with Joe & Heather. These guys were a ton of fun to work with! I love being able to have me some fun and watch my subjects join in. They were up for anything!
Not so superstitious
BLUE STEEL!!!! hahaha
Groom: Where’d they go boss?
Bride: That-a-way!!
And the last image of the 365 project…
Comes tomorrow!!!
Yes, I just pulled a Ryan Seacrest
